Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
