i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
