True but thats because hes a fetus.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
