I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
