everyone is single if you try hard enough
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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