Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We have started to decorate penises.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
