last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
