She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We need to get me chipped asap
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize