Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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