I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
