I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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