i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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