You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
