bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
