New low: just hacked my moms facebook
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
