my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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