I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
