how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
