I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
