I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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