Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
