giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
