i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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