I hate your face
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
