I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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