This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
