At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
