it hurts more in the daytime
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize