thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
