I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
