I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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