My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
