9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize