i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Two words: blizzard sex
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
