Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
