PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You need a sexual gate keeper
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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