Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
