I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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