Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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