Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
