i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
