I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
