they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
