its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
