What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
