Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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