he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
