if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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