do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize