I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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