I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
