just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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