I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
