You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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