after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
