he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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