the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
