Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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