She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
