Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
