What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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