My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
you never un-have a 4some
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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